All that you touch tumbles down
by Elle1205
Summary: Based on Special Education - Mr Schue didn't notice at first just how much Rachel flinched when he yelled. Very AU.
1. Chapter 1

I didn't expect it, not from him and not in here, the one place where I felt safe. After being told I wouldn't be getting a solo of any sort at sectionals, it upset me, I mean, I'm the one who works my butt of in this club and where does it get me? No-where. So as a sign of protest I make my way into the choir room with duct tape taped across my mouth. Taking my seat, I explain to Mr Schuester the reasons for my actions. Of course I was bothered about not getting a solo but I was also upset over the fact that Santana decided to announce in front of the whole club that Finn had slept with her and furthermore he didn't understand WHY I was so upset. No-one in this place knows anything about my life outside of school, they didn't understand why I needed to shine so much in glee, why I craved the attention so much.

The sound of the books being thrown down followed by the booming voice caused me to flinch and sink back in my chair. This wasn't supposed to happen, not here. Back there I could take it, I learned to live with it but not here. I sit there with my mouth parted slightly, tears were springing to my eyes and all I wanted to do was bolt but I couldn't. I found myself gripping to the chair as if it was my saviour. When everyone finally engages themselves into conversation, I take this as my chance to slip out knowing no-one would notice.

The next day I avoid school altogether, I have no friends feeling the need to find out where I was and Finn and I were hardly speaking since I found out about him and Santana. I hide out in my room until I hear my father leave. I spend the rest of the day lounging around the house in sweat pants. I write a note explaining my absence, being sure to forge my father's signature, the last thing I needed was to get him angry. He'd been fairly calm for the past week.

I wake up the next morning feeling slightly sick. The thought of having to go back to school terrified me, I didn't want to have to face any of them but I didn't want to have to stay home either seeing as my father would be working at the house for the whole day. Slowly getting up, it takes me longer to get ready than usual, I find myself not really caring. Throwing on a pair of skinny jeans and an over-sized t-shirt and throwing my hair in a ponytail I eventually left the house.

Walking through the halls of McKinley it was safe to say no-one had noticed my absence yesterday. I head straight to my locker with my head pointing down. Getting the books I needed for the rest of the day I headed off to my first class. Spanish.

I cringed as I walked into the spanish room, I was early and no-one but Mr Schue was in the room. I paused and attempted to turn and walk away and wait until a few others entered but he had seen me.

"Rachel? We missed you yesterday. Hope it was nothing serious?" He asks in a passive voice, I knew he didn't really care that I wasn't there but probably more annoyed at the fact that I had missed glee.

I shake my head as I walk into the room and sit as far away from him as possible.

"Just a little unwell was all" I responded without glancing up. Thankfully he left it there and other students began piling into the room.

Before I knew it, the bell signalling lunch time was ringing. Not feeling like any food, I grab an orange juice and head outside to the school grounds. I sit in what used to be my usual lunch spot where I would eat by myself before I joined glee and had people I could actually eat lunch with. I couldn't help but smile somewhat. However good it felt to have people around me, it felt better to be sat by myself. Most probably because I knew they couldn't stand me. Santana herself had said it. They only pretended to like me but I was used to that, it was all I heard.

After lunch, the day flew by pretty quick. I sit and glare at the clock as it chimes 4. It was glee. I sat in the seat of my last class and contemplated what to do. Face the horror of glee club or face the horror of home? Letting out a sigh, I grab my books and slowly make my way towards the choir room. I let out a thankful breath when I see i'm the first one to arrive. I quickly head towards the back and take one of the chairs furthest away from all the others. Taking out my notebook, I began to scribble down, wanting something to keep me from having to look up at the faces that would soon be walking in.

"Oh look who got over her hissy fit"

I didn't need to look up to know who had spoken but I didn't want her to think she was getting to me. Lifting my head up I glare at Santana who was now laughing along with Brittany, Tina and Mercedes. I couldn't help but feel hurt. Brittany and Santana I understood but Tina and Mercedes? They knew what it was like to be on the outside looking in, they knew how much it hurt and yet here they were joining in and what made it worse, Mr Schue was standing right there, ignoring the whole situatuion.

I don't participate for the session, I sit in the chair scribbling down in my book, no-one seems to notice or if they do, they don't question it.

"Alright great work today guys!"

I hear Mr Schue speak and take that as my cue that we're all allowed to leave. I try and gather my belongings and head out as quickly as possible.

"Rachel, a word" I'm stopped dead in my tracks. I look longingly at the door that was a mere foot away from me. Keeping my head down, I walk back into the room and stop near the piano. I don't speak and I remain still. I frown after a minute when Mr Schue hasn't spoken, looking up I see him glaring at me, arms folded over his chest.

"Well?" I press him, my tone coming out with slight more attitude than I wanted which of course doesn't go down well.

"You need to stop this, Rachel. How many times have I had to tell you that glee club does not revolve around you? There are other members in this club, we are supposed to be working as a team. This selfish attitude will get you no-where. We're a family here, you need to start acting like a part of it" he ranted, a small part of him was right, I was selfish but me needing to start acting a part of the family? What about the others? This got to me and something inside me exploded.

"I need to start acting like a part of this family? What the hell? I do EVERYTHING i can to try and be apart of this club! I notice when the others are hurting, I TRY and help them whenever and wherever possible but where the hell are all of you when I need you? I might be selfish, Mr Schue but you can't deny the fact that I'm always there for everyone else and the rest of you don't give a fucking shit about me!" I scream and then scolded myself for the language i had just used. it wasn't me, I hated cussing and judging by Mr Schuester's face, he didn't approve and that's when I knew it was coming. I shrank back, my arms slightly up against my chest as if ready to protect myself, I tried to stop the tears but it was useless, they spilled out as I stood helpless.

"Please don't yell" I whimpered out and waited, I knew it was coming, it had to be. There's no way he would let me get away with speaking to him like that. I squeeze my eyes shut and suddenly feel a hand on my arm. I flinch at first but realise the touch wasn't meant to hurt, it was soft. Opening my eyes I turn to see Mr Schuester looking at me with concern. For a moment I had believed I was at home, what was happening to me? I no longer knew where I was or who I was. Rachel Berry seemed to no longer exist.


	2. AN

Hey guys.

Just wanted to let y'all know I haven't abandoned this story. I'm almost done with my other

one 'Seventeen candles' and once I've finished that I shall be working on this story! The first

chapter needs re-editing...it was late and I rushed it out and reading back over it there are

several mistakes to be corrected. Anyway, I just wanted to let you guys know this one WILL be continued! Thanks for sticking with it..I promise to update it ASAP.


	3. Chapter 2

**So I had this part written a while ago but wasn't going to post it until I'd finished Seventeen Candles but I suddenly had a new spurt of alerts/reviews for this one and I felt incredibly guilty for leaving you guys hanging. I'll post all of what I have of this story now and try and get it updated along with Seventeen candles! I've re-edited the first chapter, I apologize for the switching from 1st to 3rd..please pick me up on it if I do it again, I don't have a beta so I try my best haha. I think from now on though the remainder of the story will be in 3rd..POV if they happen will only be Rachel's but I'll be sure to make that clear if and when it happens. As always, reviews and input is LOVED and I'm so sorry for keeping you waiting!**

* * *

William Schuester loved his job, he loved the idea that he was helping to change the lives of teenagers, helping them to feel special and up until now that's what he had believed. Will always thought he had good instincts when it came to the kids, he could sense when one of them needed a small boost, sense if they needed a little chat. However today, Will Schuester couldn't shake of that feeling that he had let down one of his students, had he missed signs of something so terrible? Making his way to Emma Pillsbury...now Emma Pillsbury Howell's office, he knocked slightly before entering.

"Hey, you free to talk?" he asked as he watched her beaming smile fade to concern.

"Sure, Will. What is it?" She asked as she motioned to the empty seat that was opposite from her. Closing the door behind him, Will made his way over and sat down, he moved himself to the edge as he crossed his hands together.

"Has Rachel been in to talk to you at all?" he asked looking up to meet her eyes. Thinking back, Emma shook her head.

"Not since both her and Finn came in after Santana's...revelation" she told him and then studied him.

"Why?"

Sighing, Will sat himself back in the chair, stretching his legs out and bringing one hand to rest under his chin.

"Something..happened" he started and took a pause, realising that that probably wasn't the best way to start.

"I shouted at her the other day, I mean..I didn't think I shouted that much. She was being all...Rachel like, not being supportive of the others for getting a solo for sectionals and I yelled." he continued and began to wonder if he was the sole cause of Rachel's problem. Maybe he had scared her?

"Well she missed a day of school and since she's been back she's been quiet, reserved...hardly participating. I called her up on it and she freaked out. She was scared, terrified even" he told the red-head and glanced up to try and read her expression.

Listening to Will's encounter with Rachel, Emma couldn't help but feel worried, it didn't sound like the Rachel Berry they all knew. She opened her mouth to try and give Will some sort of advice but she came up short. Perhaps the man had just scared the girl? Emma imagined Will to have a pretty powerful voice and he had always seemed like such a calm and soft man.

"Have you tried talking to her? Maybe you just startled her is all?" she offered up hoping that this was just the case.

Will shook his head and glanced at his watch, glee rehearsal would be starting soon.

"I'll try talking to her after glee tonight but would you just keep an eye out? Let me know if you see anything, un-Rachel like?" he asked her as he stood up and smiled as she nodded.

"Of course, let me know how the talk goes" she said as she followed him to the door and watched him walk away. On his way to the choir room, Will couldn't focus on anything other than Rachel. He knew it would be hard for him to get her to open up, even if it was him that scared her, he just needed to know.

As he entered the choir room, he smiled at the kids who were already sat in the room waiting for him. He scanned around and let out a small sigh of relief as he spotted Rachel sat in what had become her usual spot at the back.

"All right guys, your assignment this week is to come up with an anthem for us to use at sectionals. I'm thinking we can pretty much rule out My Chemical Romance for the running now that Sue's coaching aural intensity" he told the group as he rested his back against the piano.

"So use this time wisely, research, get into groups, partners..whatever. You have until tomorrow's practice to show us what you come up with" he added and then clapped his hands together.

"Of you go" he grinned and watch as the group seemingly split up into the usual groups. Brittany, Quinn and Santana huddled together, Tina, Mercedes and Artie rounded themselves off as did the other boys. Will glanced over to Rachel who was still sat in the same position but this time she was scribbling down in her notebook once again.

"Hey Rachel, you not wanna join in with the others?" he asked as he took a few steps closer to her and watched as she met his eyes and shook her head.

"It's okay, Mr Schue, I kinda have something I'm working on" she replied as she lifted her notebook up with one hand. He gave her an encouraging smile.

"Well great, can't wait to see what you've come up with" He tells her and watched as she gives him nothing but a blank stare. Moving away from Rachel, Will headed over to listen in on the others to see what they were coming up with.

A little while later, Will sensed the kids were getting restless, clasping his hands together he once again took to the front of the room in his usual place.

"Okay we'll finish up a little earlier today, guys. Sounds like you have some pretty interesting ideas. I look forward to hearing them tomorrow" he told the group and signaled that they were all free to leave.

"Rachel?" he called out as he watched the small brunette try to scurry past quickly. He couldn't help but smile at her somewhat dramatic sigh and roll of the eyes as he called her, it was something he expected from her, a sign that perhaps the old Rachel was still there. Will waited for the other members to leave, he watched as they all threw glances at the teacher and to Rachel before turning back to whisper to each other. As Artie, the last student to leave, rolled out of the class, Will closed the door and turned to Rachel who was standing awkwardly, her books clutched to her chest as she glanced at her toes.

"I wanted to apologise" the man spoke as he sat down on the piano bench, keeping his eyes on Rachel who after hearing his words looked up.

"The way I yelled at you the other day, it was uncalled for - and unprofessional" he confessed. "And I'm sorry if I scared you" he added on sincerely and waited for a response. Rachel held Mr Schue's gaze for a moment before she offered him a small smile and a slight nod.

"It's okay Mr Schue, I guess I did dramatize the whole thing...slightly" she laughed back but saw the seriousness in Will's eyes which caused her to become rigid.

"Is there something else, Rachel? Anything you want to talk to me about? And I mean anything?" he pressed but was met with a firm head shake.

"Everything's fine" she shot back all too quickly.

It was the two words he was dreading to hear. Everything wasn't fine, the way she had answered him had confirmed it but what was he to do if she wouldn't confide in him?

"Rachel, I want you to know that if you do need to talk at any time, you can talk to me? I want you to come to me if you need help of any kind" he spoke softly as he stood from the bench and took a few paces over to her and placed his hand over her arm.

Rachel slowly lifted her head and met his eyes. She wanted nothing more than to break down right there and then, let all her emotions from the past year out, have someone comfort her but she couldn't, the thought of being rejected by someone again was too much to handle and she was fairly certain that no-one would understand.

"Thanks Mr Schue" she finally whispered back and quickly side stepped around the taller man and headed out of the room.


End file.
